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Legendary Love – Laws of Attraction

February 18, 2010

What an amazing way to kick off Valentine’s Day….with a new series on relationships.  I’m so excited about this series.  As we go through the book of Song of Solomon, we’ll see attraction, dating, courtship, marriage and even see conflict.  Whether you’re in 6th grade or 76 years old, at some point in you’re life you will deal with one or more of these areas.  One of the biggest reasons I’m excited about this series is that Jeff will share a lot of our story, how we met and stories from dating and marriage.  We pulled down a big box of letters and poems and other memorabilia from out dating years and it’s brought back so many memories.  All the feelings of attraction and excitement about our new relationship are being stirred back up.  It’s sad embarrassing looking back at how needy and insecure I was, and some things are just funny.  Here’s a picture of us when we first started dating:

Awww – weren’t we cute!!  So here’s my notes from this past weekend:

Laws of Attraction

#1 – Find someone with a good name – Song of Solomon 1:3,

3 How fragrant your cologne; your name is like its spreading fragrance.  No wonder all the young women love you!

Cologne back then was made from olive oil.  To get the oil, olives had to be crushed.  His name is like the spreading fragrance from the olive oil cologne.  You will find out the true character of a man when he goes through a crushing time.  How is your man’s character?  What is he like when he’s by himself?  Is he different depending on who’s around?  Find someone with a good name/character.

#2 – Find someone who will love you through your insecurities – Song of Solomon 1:5-6

5 I am dark but beautiful, O women of Jerusalem— dark as the tents of Kedar, dark as the curtains of Solomon’s tents. 6 Don’t stare at me because I am dark— the sun has darkened my skin. My brothers were angry with me;
they forced me to care for their vineyards, so I couldn’t care for myself—my own vineyard.

The woman was insecure because her skin was dark.  Women in those days didn’t work outside unless they were a slave.  Her brothers treated her like a slave and made her work in their vineyards.  But she knew she was beautiful.  Every woman has insecurities.  Mine was that I wasn’t worth a good godly man.  Over and over in the notes and letters I wrote Jeff when we were dating I said, I can’t believe God has given me someone like you….I don’t deserve you.  You’re too good for me…blah blah blah.  Looking back, I see now how worthless I felt.  But God blessed me with someone who loved me through my insecurities and helped me overcome them.

#3 – Find someone with work ethic –Song of Solomon 1:7

7 Tell me, my love, where are you leading your flock today?  Where will you rest your sheep at noon?  For why should I wander like a prostitutes  among your friends and their flocks?

They both were hard workers…she was forced to work, but took care of her brothers vineyards.  He was a shephard.  She wanted to see him, but didn’t want to ruin her name.  The prostitutes would wander through the fields propositioning men throughout the day.  She wanted to know exactly where he was so she didn’t have to wander looking for him, like a prostitute.

#4 – No standards, no relationship

I don’t believe this came from Song of Solomon.  Jeff shared here how he had written down standards for his life and for the girl he wanted to find.  What are your standards?  Why waste your time on someone who doesn’t fit your standards?  Write them down and view any potential dates through your standards.

#5 – Listen to their words – Song of Solomon 1:8-11

8 If you don’t know, O most beautiful woman, follow the trail of my flock, and graze your young goats by the shepherds’ tents. 9 You are as exciting, my darling, as a mare among Pharaoh’s stallions. 10 How lovely are your cheeks; your earrings set them afire!  How lovely is your neck, enhanced by a string of jewels. 11 We will make for you earrings of gold and beads of silver.

How does this person you’re attracted to speak to you?  How do they speak to their parents or anyone in authority?  In Song of Solomon, we find the man is building the woman up, encouraging her through her insecurities…calling her a mare among Pharaoh’s stallions.  All the horses pulling chariots were black..EXCEPT the horses that pulled Pharaoh’s chariot, those were white.  He is encouraging her through her insecurity about her dark skin.  All through the rest of chapter 1 and into chapter 2 he compliments her, he calls her a blooming flower.  His words are helping her to rise above her insecurities.

Look at your attractions through the lense of these laws.  Take this example from God’s Word and apply it to your relationship.  If you are not married- it’s not too late to make a change, and even if you are married…submit your relationship to the Lord and live in a way that’s honoring to Him, and watch what He can do through you to change your relationship.  I am so thankful that at least one of us had standards back when me and Jeff were dating.  I’m sad to admit that it wasn’t me.  I was trying to validate myself through guys, and it got me nowhere.  It wasn’t until I met Jeff that I realized how insecure I was in myself and in my relationship with  God.  Thankfully, Jeff loved me through those and through his words and actions helped me rise above my insecurities.

Jeff got me these tulips for Valentine’s Day.  They hadn’t bloomed yet when he gave them to me.  He said he got them that way on purpose, so we would be able to watch them bloom….much like how he has watched me bloom over the years.  Hopefully he knows how much he had to do with that 🙂

If you’d like to watch or listen to this past Sunday’s message….here’s the link.  Have a great week and I am as interested as you are to hear what Jeff shares this week in week #2 of Legendary Love.

One Comment leave one →
  1. February 18, 2010 9:35 pm

    Thanks Michelle! I love looking back on my relationship with Christopher and seeing how much we’ve grown. I have a lot more growing to do!

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