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Legendary Love – The Dating Game

February 23, 2010

Oh, how this week brought back so many memories.  I loved playing the dating game.  When I got to college, I went crazy.  I was brought up in a pretty conservative home, mixed with moving to a new state my senior year of high school, working 3 jobs to be able to go to college to get away from Maryland my new home, I didn’t date much.  When I got to Liberty University, I saw all these cute “Christian” guys and started going out with as many as I could.  It was never serious until I met Jeff.  I do realize now that I was a player in the dating game, I liked playing and I never lost….but oh – how differently I would do things now.  I bought into the lie that I was a nobody unless I was with a guy.  I was at a Christian college for goodness sakes…you’d think my relationship with Jesus went to new levels while there….sadly, it didn’t.

This week, Jeff continues the Legendary Love series (watch here) in the book of Song of Solomon, chapter 2 v. 8 goes into the dating period between this couple:

8 I hear my lover’s voice. Here he comes jumping across the mountains, skipping over the hills. 9 My lover is like a gazelle or a young deer. Look, he stands behind our wall peeking through the windows, looking through the  blinds. 10 My lover spoke and said to me,“Get up, my darling;let’s go away, my beautiful one.

The man has enthusiasm, he wants to spend time with the woman.  v. 10, he takes the lead, he says, “let’s go away”  He has a plan, he’s going somewhere.  Guys are to be the pursuer.

11 Look, the winter is past;the rains are over and gone.12 Blossoms appear through all the land.The time has come to sing;the cooing of doves is heard in our land.13 There are young figs on the fig trees,and the blossoms on the vines smell sweet.Get up, my darling;let’s go away, my beautiful one.”

This takes place in the spring….their relationship is blooming and budding, there’s a freshness and a new growth of the relationship.  Ecclesiastes 3:1 says

1 There is a time for everything,and everything on earth has its special season.

Even relationships go through seasons.  Winter is a God-ordained season.  Some marriages are in winter – there are no signs of life…but one thing that happens during the winter season – roots grow deeper.  Don’t give up during the winter season….press into God, work on your own heart to have the heart of God towards your spouse and watch as God brings the spring season back.

Solomon continues in v. 14 –

14 My beloved is like a dove hiding in the cracks of the rock,in the secret places of the cliff.Show me your face,and let me hear your voice.Your voice is sweet,and your face is lovely.

Solomon wants to see her face….and that’s ALL he needs to see at this point.  If you are in a dating relationship….don’t be pressured into revealing more of you than is appropriate.  No one needs to see all of you or know everything there is to know about you before marriage.  Solomon also wants to hear her voice…her voice is pleasant and sweet.  How is your voice – how do you speak to the person you’re dating or married to – is it pleasant.  Be careful here….Satan will try to take out your communication first.  Be intentional about checking your tone or motives when speaking to your spouse….as communication slips, you’ll start going into the winter season.

Solomon goes on to warn against the foxes in v. 15 –

15 Catch the foxes for us—the little foxes that ruin the vineyards while they are in blossom.

Foxes would find a hole in the fence and get into the vineyard.  They would eat the buds on the vines and the flower would not bloom.  Take care of the little foxes….the little compromises you’re allowing in your relationship.  Put some standards in place and STICK TO THEM.  If someone is not willing to abide by your standards…they don’t respect you and you don’t need to be with them.  A few standards Jeff and I put in place in our dating relationship….never be alone in a bedroom or even a house, we made a covenant to not kiss for a period of time…that just led us to a place that was not healthy.  Another way to look at it….if you’re dating, there is a good chance that the person you’re dating may not be your spouse one day, which means someone else may be dating your spouse.  How far do you want that person to go with your future spouse?  And then, the Bible says to treat women as your Christian sister….as a guy – how far would you go with your sister?   ICK!!!

I love that we are dealing with this subject and I am so excited that our services are full of middle and high school kids, and college kids.  Oh how I wish I could have learned this back in middle school…how different my life would have been.  So, if you missed this week – no worries, catch it here and get ready for next week.

One Comment leave one →
  1. February 23, 2010 5:06 pm

    Love the analogy of a relationship going through seasons. It’s so true! I think if we look at our relationships in that light it helps us to see the big picture and know it’s natural to have a “winter” season. Every thing must be pruned and dormant for the flowers to bloom in the spring. Love it! Thanks for sharing!

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